Universally Screwed

Dear Universe,

Firstly, than you for letting me exist. I like existing. Being cognisent of my existance and being able to enjoy the simple things you provide in the hours I spend in your company.
Like chocolate, Haagen Das, good lager (Peroni and Red Stripe come to mind), music, sunshine, thunderstorms and of course, family.

I do, however, have a small complaint to lodge with you. While I enjoy the simpler things you provide, I am, afterall, human and bein that, have dreams and aspirations and even, on a good day, hope and optimism.

So, then, why, I have to ask, do you instill those things in me and then make it hard as fuck to reach them?
It's like putting a huge 70% off sale sign in the window, only to find that none of the shoes fit and all the clothes are pink. Not fucking fair, is it?

I've been really good, sending out positive karma into your world and what do I get in return?
Sucky ass jobs that pay nothing, continuous let downs and disappointment.

In truth Universe, you have decidely pissed me off. I've been working so fucking hard and all I keep getting is a big Fuck You in return.

This can't continue. Is your ultimate plan for me to end up spending a year on my mom's couch getting grossly fat, marrying some loser and popping out five kids then dying of a anti-depressant overdose? I mean, really. I have a sense of humour, but that just isn't funny. Like Rob Schieder movies - not funny at all.

So here's my offer to you, ruler of destinies and lives. In exchange for givin me a fucking well deserved break, I will never, ever bitch when I have to deal with stupid people. In fact, I will love everyone in the world and never think ill of anyone, no matter how much of a moron they truly are.
I will also sell you the soul of my first born. You can have my cat's soul too.

Eagerly awaiting your reply, in the form of something good finally happening.

Thank you,

Insano.

The Fratellis - Mistress Mabel

You all know I'm a huge Fratellis fan, so imagine my delight at thier new album!! Althoug, in this new video of thiers, Jon Fratelli looks an awful lot like early Jack White...hmmm

Burn, Time, Burn

As Muse sang, time is running out.

I have two weeks.

in which, I have to sell my soul to a rich relative, relocate, pack, move and basically start from scratch.

In a way, I hate that I can't get an EU passport. Really hate it. Makes life difficult for myself.
Maybe, if I throw myself at Gordon Browns feet and plead my sorry ass case to him and convince him that without my EU passport, the world would be a much more pathetic place, he might heed and take pity on me before promptly deporting my ass back to SA.

On the bright side. Had an awesome dream last night: Gerard Way, Jensen Ackles 'n me. nuff said.

And then the sun came up...

Went to the ULU last night to watch Seether.
Glad I didn't have to pay for my tickets cos the show kind of sucked ass. All thier songs sound the same! You can practically hear the record label twisting the knobs on thier creativity. Or maybe the lifestyle has killed thier run?

I haven't slept for 48 hours now.

But the last 12 haven't been my fault.
My bed partner snores. Loudly. And annoyingly and no amount of prodding or shushing is working. And I don't have a living room couch to escape the noise to. Living with other people sucks!

Wanted:
1 bedroom flat with small patio/roof terrace.
£80 pw all bills included.
No psycho neigbours.

Keep dreaming!

Boned..

So I'm a freak of nature.
I've decided, at least.

it's 1:45am and I'm still up.

And it's raining.

I like rain. Not the pissy types that lasts weeks. More of the 'wham-bam-lightening-bolt-up-yo-ass' type of storms. You know, horror movie storms. They fucking rock!

Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I'm currently watching season 3 of Bones.

Yes, I'm that much of a geek.

The Art of Losing Your Mind

Here's a little experiment.

what happens when you combine the following factors?

Ephedrine
Insomnia
Work deadline
vodka
redbull
friends
bank holiday
and
erm...red wine

A lot of shit and you can't remember why.

I had been up since Friday.
Literally.
No sleep.

I'm working on a really tight deadline and have yet to pull a miracle from my ass.

My mates invited over to a little house party type thing yesterday. I brought my computer along as I have sooooo much work to do.
When I got here, one was already drunk. The other drunk on lurve (love).
I set everything up, poured myself a vodka and rb and got to work, while talking shit and generally hanging out.

I fell asleep at my computer. At least that's where I think I fell asleep.

I woke up in a bed and had no idea why/how I got there, why my mate was pissed at the world in general and feel as though I should be apologising for something.

All I know for sure is that I had a really bad fuckng nightmare. One of those surround sound, technicolour, goes on forever and I just might die kind of nightmares. Every part of me hurts and I can't explain it.

Was it athe lack of sleep? Exhaustion? Stress? Alcohol?

I can't be sure.
I'm not sure of anything at the moment.

All I know is that I'm shaking.

And I'm not even cold.

Somebody, pass the meds...

I've never been one for the easy life. Not that I know of. I get bored, very quickly.

But the past few weeks have been just a bit too much excitement for me. I can feel it in my bones. I'm tired. Very very tired. Like, badly in need of a beach and cocktail kind of tired.

Alas, my calendar will not be open until at least 2025.

I've been kept really busy with one website that I review for here in the UK. Its a spur of the moment kind of reviewing. For example:

Last Tuesday, I had work all day, then zipped off to an exclusive launch party where I met many lovely people. One of them being Ms Spain. She doles out the tickets of gold to me. She mentioned having tickets for a Vampire Weekend show that night.
My face lit up - oh yes please!
i got the tickets, hauled ass over to Electric Ballroom and watched the riveting gig.
But I was alone. My plus one meaning absolutely nothing as all my mates have set routines and couldn't break it for an impulsive break to a show.
At least there was free beer.
The week before, I had gone to The Wombats at the Brixton Academy, Give It A Name Fest 08 at Earls Court, Melody Gardot at Bush Hall, and Flykiller at 229. And then there's the singles to review too.
Yep, its a full time thing.

But my week didn't end there.

I got an email from a very pissed friend who called me "a self absorbed loose cannon".
Now, I can take being called a loose cannon. Its not the first time. But self absorbed? Ok, maybe. Sure. A little.
So I took the line and started my own brand - Loose Cannon UK.

While I'm doing the branding for that, there's that little niggly thing called Strung Out that needs planning (well, its all planned, only the posters need to go up). There's negotiations for other gigs going on. Lots of networking. Lots of madness.

And then there's this 56 day tour of Europe I'm in the middle of putting together. I have 10 days to confirm it all.

And the cherry on my preverbial pie - I've discovered that my little sister is depressed. Badly depressed.
The only problem, is people in South Africa view depression as a self indulgent excuse to laziness. My father, unfortunately is one of those people.
My little sister has every reason to have depression. She's been through so much in her 17 years, I'm not surprised. My dad believes that therapy is a 'wham, bam, you're cured' kind of deal. He has no idea.

And this more than anything bothers me. Stresses me out! I wish I was back home just so that I can help her. My mom tries, my other sister just gets frustrated. I feel helpless. And it's the last thing I need right now. I'm already feeling the pull of the drain.

Oh, yeah, and I work in a full time job that mentally and emotionally drains me of my sanity.

Meds. Now. Please??