Tube Issues
Dear Suicidal Fuckwit,
The next time you have the urge to end your pathetic existence, rather throw yourself off the Millennium Bridge and not infront of a train. Your little act of self destruction fucks up the tubes, messing up everyone else’s day and robs them of the opportunity to beat the crap out of you as you’re in a hundred pieces along the third track.
If you really need to off yourself, then do it in the privacy of your own home and not during rush hour on the freaking Piccadilly Line.
Thank you,
Pissed-off-and-late-because-of-you Insano.