Padded Cell Time

I swear I need to be locked up. If just for the safety of my customers today.

I have woken up in the foulest mood ever!!!! And its only 7am.
One half of me just wants to go back to bed and hide under the covers with a bag of snack sized mars bars.
The other half of me wants to rip the man in my bed to shreds for just being here, wants to OD on painkillers cos my wrist is killing me, my head still hurts, my throat is still raw and now I wake up with a fucking cold sore on my lip.

THANKS!

I don't need PMS this week. Or for the rest of my life. I'm pretty insane without it. But now, I'm just a mess. A hormonal ticking time bomb that will, despite being injured and sick, take out the first fucker who orders anything more complicated than a pint of beer. Pity the fate of the idiiot who asks for a single gin and tonic with only two blocks of ice, three wedges of lime and fat free tonic water.
Today, ladies and gents, you drink it the way I pour it.
Or go somewhere else.
And if you ask me for coffee....duck and run is my best piece of advice to you as I will probably throw the coffee machine at you instead of a mere latte.

BLEH!

Today, I hate the world and everyone in it. If I was near a red button attached to an atomic bomb, the world would end by lunchtime.

Good thing I'm not. I guess.
Now pass the fucking mars bars and leave me the fuck alone!!!!