I Demand The Job...Now!

I have had it! Absolutely freaking had it!

I have been perusing the festival sites, keeping an eye on who is playing where, when etc. See, UK and Europe are inundated with music festivals every summer (June/July/August).

We have (in date order)
Rock am Rock (1st-2nd June)- Germany
Download Festival (8-10 June) UK
Glastonbury Festival (22-24 June) UK
Roskilde Festival (5-8 July) Denmark
Oxeygen Festival (6-8 July) UK - YES! SAME FREAKING WEEKEND!!!
Rock the Rock Fest (27-29 July) Isle of Wight
V Festival (18-19 August) UK ALREADY SOLD OUT
Carling Reading/Leeds Festival (24-26 August)
Bestival (7-9 September)

Ok, so those are the fests I'm interested in attending, but I have a bone to pick with the organisers. In fact, I have a bone to pick with organisers in general.
They are obviously not doing thier jobs.
What is thier job?
To create a festival for a certain market and cater to it.
A good example is Download Fest.

Since its inception, it has been a metal festival. Simple. Headbanging, long haired, screaming, thrashing guitars, stainless steel metal.
However, the grumblings in the underground is that Download has gone copper in its old age and has sold out. I investigated this claim and I have to agree.
Sure, My Chemical Romance is headlining the first day, but the only link they have to metal is in thier musical influlences. MCR is a punk rock band. And as much as I love and respect that band, they should not be playing Download. There is bound to be a repeat performance of last year's Reading/Leeds bottling incident. Only this time, they're setting themselves up for it.
The wild card is Linkin Park. They're headlining the second day. having blasted onto the scene a few years ago riding the wave of nu metal acts, they have disappeared from the public concious until now. i suspect they are going to try thier new material at the fest, but this hardly warrants them a headlining slot.
The only fixture I see as being correct and in line with the tradition of Download, is third day headliners - Iron Maiden.

The rest of the line up is dodgy at best. Post Hardcore bands abound. Have the metalheads gone underground? Or is this selling out at its crudest?

Another little event I would liek to rant about is Colab, or affectionately known as My Coke Fest. Someone obviously didn't think that concept through.
Kudos to Big Concerts putting this together, but, really. Hoobstank? Maybe two years ago. And even then - maybe!
They are obviously cashing in on the South African publics starvation of international acts, so we will gladly shell out over R500 for second rate has-been international acts.

Let's examine our line up, shall we?
International Acts:

Guns 'n Roses - Aging rockers trying to cash in on past fame. not the show your parents remember from the 80s. Cringe-worthy is the term.

Evanescence - Ok, I'll grant Big Concerts a brownie point for them. After all, if we ignore the new Open Door album, this is a solid, CURRENT band that actually has a following.

Hoobastank - They have one single. The Reason. That is not a reason to spend money getting them out to SA. Pointless, really.

3 Doors Down - I like this band. I really do. But why bring them out now? They last released an album in 2003. That's 4 years ago. If people can remember that far back, then good for the band, but I foresee an apathetic audience.

Staind - They have one song. ONE!!!! And the nu metal wave crashed three years ago. Bad choice. Very bad choice.

So who would I replace four of the five acts with?

MCR - Obviously! they're touring the world, so why not stop by?
The Fratellis - Maybe they haven't quite hit the radio waves in SA, but when they do, trust me, you'd love thier stuff. Swagger forth!
Arctic Monkeys - Two brilliant albums. I bet that you look good on the race course. Reason enough.
Kaiser Chiefs - Firstly, they're named after one of our soccer teams. Secondly, they have just released thier second album and have a huge following.
Fall Out Boy - which 16 year old girl would not give up her um..eye teeth for tickets to see this band? Three hit albums later! The latest released just recently. Again, CURRENT is the key word.

Too indie?

How about...
Marilyn Manson - Releasing new album this year. Playing Download Fest. My COKE Fest, anyone??? nuff said.
Rage Against the Machine - New album. Old fans. Come on!!!
30 Seconds to Mars - Cos they've played everywhere else and maybe Jared Leto needs an audience that forgot he's an actor.
The White Stripes - Icky Thump. nuff said.
Kasabian - Rocked the summer with Empire. Again, CURRENT springs to mind.

but that's just my thoughts.

As for the local line up:
Taxi Violence
Love Jones
the Dirty Skirts
J - who???
Cassette
Evolver
Nudies
Parlotones

I can't really fault it. Except maybe for J. Who the fuck is J?? Kick him off the line up and slot in The Hellphones instead.

See? I would make the perfect organiser for these things.