Bring on the Egg Nog

Hello Everyone,

Boy am I lucky to be around to write this post. Xmas, was, shall I say…eventful. As any holiday celebration should be. There was turkey, wine, cheese, crackers, police, Quality Streets and Amarula. Same old, same old.

Ok, so the police aren’t usually guests to my xmassy celebrations, but these were extenuating circumstances.

See, we (P and I) were invited to Nats place for xmas lunch. We went over after twelve, armed with the turkey and vege and began the whole chopping and peeling and basing thing. Once the turkey was in the oven, we went through to the tv room to do the gift unwrapping and cheese and crackers thing.
We had just unwrapped the first gifts when suddenly, it rained chopped marrows and eggplants. Nats psycho roommate had walked into the kitchen, saw the festive preparations, freaked out and threw the vege at me through the pigeon hole. She then proceeded to throw the rest of our vege off the balcony onto the grass below. She then stormed into the tv room hurtling abuse at not only Nats, but P and myself too. Going on about how Nats didn’t ask permission etc etc.

Just for the record, Nats had arranged it with her other roommates and seeing as how psycho wasn’t talking to her, she had to have the message relayed, which it obviously wasn’t.

Anyways, she retreats to her room and we shrug, and carry on with our festivities. Psycho then storms back into the room and tries to attacks Nats. I jump up and hold her off. (she’s not that big, and I could easily take her on.) She retreats again only to come back a few minutes later while Nats is on the phone to the cops. Again, I fend the psychotic loon off. Nats seems to be having a hard time on the phone with the cops, so I take the phone and with a few short words, gets the desk sergeant to agree to send over a patrol car. We then beat a hasty tactical retreat to my flat, turkey still intact and in tow.

We’re about to settle down when psycho starts beating the door and carrying o about the phone, which was missing. We didn’t know a thing about it, she obviously threw it out with our vege.

So she’s going off when suddenly the main door bell rings. P, in a bit of a state turns to me and says ‘It’s Denise.’

Denise? Who the fuck is Denise?

I took the intercom – It’s the Police!!

I let them in and they caught Psycho at the door. The one male officer took her into her flat and had serious words with her, while the female officer came into our flat and spoke to Nats.

They were obviously not happy to be called out, but I would rather the cops sorted her out than me throwing her down the two flights of stairs.

Anyways, we chilled, had the turkey, watched xmassy movies and Nats stayed the night. She snuck home this morning to collect her things for work then left.

P and I are currently having a historical action movie fest with Braveheart, Robin Hood and a few others lined up.

Bring on the port.