The rantings, musings, tangents and misadventures of life that come from the heart through the misty filter of insomnia.
There's also a lot of music involved.
Ok, am officially not happy with the YouTube/Google Video collaboration. I prefer Google Video as it allows me to download what I want to watch for future enjoyment. YouTube doesn't. But since the two joined forces and databases, you have to be uber careful about what you choose, or else you'll get redirected to YouTube and then you can't download the damn video!!!
But the joys of Google Video is that I found, hidden away, the Beatles Yellow Submarine movie. I heard about this absolutly trippy film from some mates of mine and now I can watch it! YAY!
Still doesn't make up for the YouTube intergration - fuckers.
One thing I have discovered about the British workforce (well, corporate anyway) is that they take thier positive reinforcement very seriously. Everything is 'Well Done', 'Good Job', 'Excellent' etc etc. Now, generally I'm really all for positive reinforcement - when earned. Conragtulating someone for masteringthe art of opening thier email account does not count. Niether does the occasion when I actually complete a to do list in one day. In fact, over used compliments sound contrived and even a little patronising. And it sounds even more so when its PMS time in the office.
You see, the girls here in the office all seem to get PMS at the same time. One of the girls - let's name her Barbie (and I mean that in a nice way) has decided she wants to go on the Pill to relieve the PMS.
erm...why?
PMS is in a way rather liberating! Guys get to be all testosteroney and macho and get away with fighting and losing thier temper all month long. Well, to me, PMS is the best excuse for most of the 'unseemly' things we do. Like mooching, glaring at fellow tube passengers who stand on yoru toes, crying during a movie and other irrational behaviour. Embrace the PMS! Enjoy the PMS! And blame every bad purchase on it!
Onto more mundane things about the office - Someone has been buying the lame ass organic strength 3 Sainsbury brand coffee. I'd like to find that person and kick thier butt! Coffee is only worth is consumption if the strength is at least 6. I would like to be wired after one cup - not two pots! It wastes valuable blogging time having to get up to refill my cup with boring, instant strength brew.
As for Joyce - Being Monday yesterday, I worked late and avoided the flat (her son comes on Mondays for supper). Had supper with P and Nats at the Pembroke until we were kicked out. Due to closing, not behaviour. Anyway, I get home and Joyce was going on about her dog. Again. So in my three beers induced mellow and good will mood, I sat and chatted to her about the dog and her latest family crisis until I nearly fell asleep on the floor. dragged my ass to bed. Had been lying there for a while when suddenly i hear the door open, and felt this weight on me. I nearly hit the roof! (jo'burg paranoia coming through). Turns out, Joyce, in her madness and sweetness, brought me an extra duvet. She said it was because my room is so cold. I thanked her and promptly fell asleep (if only to avoid talking more about that freakin dog). This morning i discovered the reason for the arctic conditions in my room - someone opened my windows and neglected to inform me!!! Note - my windows are on the opposite end of the room to my bed and are small and hidden, so I hardly pay attention to them.
SO life with Joyce is one day going to result in a death through heart attack. My heart, that is. Stopped by her scaring the bejesus out of me.
The mere thought is enough to make me want to cry. I have lost so many good things with the crash of '07! Photo's from the MCR concert, music, stories, poetry, Terry Pratchett in .pdf. Oh, yes, and some work files too. I have decided to take matters into my own hands and send it off for data retrieval. I'm desperate!
I didn't realise how much I miss my laptop, until yesterday afternoon. After Friday and Saturday nights working my ass off and getting in at 5am, I decided to mooch. There is nothing better than lying on the couch, a few beers next to you and a line up of the best 80's action flicks (Lethal Waepon 1-4 and Batman 1-4). But somewhere after my third beer, my creative drive kicked in (as it does) and I wanted to type out a lovely little ramble. But alas, not keyboard to do so. And don't even suggest that I use pen and paper! I can't read my own scrawl after a few cans!
I'm also missing my music. I am totally music-less. Except for whats on my cellphone. *more sighing*
Oh, also met a nice Aussie guy on the way home on Friday night. Totally random. Not holding my breath, though. If he calls me - I'll buy everyone that reads this a drink.
On a totally obssessive fan note, did anyone see how scrumptious Gerard Way looks with his locks back to black? I had heard about the return, but i only saw pics this morning (thanks NME). The blonde ambition look was ok, but the natural black hair just works way better. Ok, enough stalker obsessiveness.
Best get back to work. Still need to put my Best of 2007 list together. Any suggestions?
I'm currently covertedly typing this from a colleagues computer, as from 9:30pm last night, my little ol' laptop died. That's right. I am now computer-less. Which means I can't get any work done. But that's not what concerns me. What i'm worried about is all my personal files that were on my laptop are now lost. All my pics, photos, bad poetry, everything - gone. I'm beyond freaking out. I'm beyond stressing. In fact, I feel the giddy, lightheaded-ness of someone who has left thier body and thier minds are floating somewhere...else. See, this week has been such a convaluted build up of bad luck, bad timing, and bad karma, that should i actually sit still long enough to contemplate its ripples affecting the galaxy and time continuum, as consequences tend to do, my head would promptly explode. So i'm playing the ostrich today. cluck, cluck...
For the past two days, I have been, through a very wrong twist of fate, being working from home. This is ok, seeing as how I’ve got a cold and travelling would just aggravate it, but on the flipside, the pressure to perform, while sitting at home is overwhelming. How do the freelancers do it?
Obviously self discipline is a key factor. Something I lack. Desperately.
Working from home has its benefits. I can sit in my PJs, feet up and not have to worry about what I’ll wear to the office. I can’t get distracted by the mindless conversations that happen when a bunch of girls sit in an office together. Just me and my music – no phones!!!!
However, it does suck when your desk is the size of a penny and the internet connection you leach from the neighbours is unreliable. But it does beat having o get up at the crack of dawn to commute. I think I could do pretty well. I just need to prove to my boss that I can work productively from a satellite location. Maybe this is what he needs to help me get my holiday through for April!
So you’re probably wondering what the twist of fate was that got me here. Money. Or lack thereof.
See, I had a plan, all worked out. I pre ordered this amazing external hard drive from Play.com. It was supposed to be deducted from my account once I got paid – at the end of the month. So my wages from the pub come through and before I could say ‘7 day travelcard, please’ Play.com took the money and posted the hard drive to me. I emailed them the same morning (this being Monday) stating that they must keep the hard drive, I want my money back and I’ll re order it at a later stage. Tuesday comes with more calls and emails – their system is down. I get home Tuesday night to find they delivered the package!!!
Now, even if I returned the package or kept it, I’m still cashless until Monday! So I’m screwed. Very screwed. Have meetings to attend tomorrow!
So I’m going to have to beg Paul to loan me a little money, just to get to work and back (both jobs) and I’ll pay him back on Monday.
So what have I learnt from this whole expedition? 1) Get a job walking distance from home. 2) Make sure that when I order something from play.com I send them a note saying when they can have payment. 3) Just don’t order stuff off the internet. 4) Get a better paying job. 5) Get a credit card.
Also planning to go flat hunting on Saturday. Closer to the office. Good rent. ALONE!! And, yes, I’ll be far more budget conscious from now on. Wish me luck.
So yesterday had to be one of the coldest days, ever. I was sick, sniffling in the office, trying to get some work done. This morning I woke up to find this it had snowed overnight. Yay! Snow Day! I'm planning to go play in it later, but for now, i'm enjoying the warmth of my bed.
But, to celebrate this momentous occasion in my little S'Affer life, check out my Motion City Soundtrack vid at teh bottom of the blog - It has sow in it.
Will post more later..gonna go build a snowman. or something.
I have a confession to make. During my interviews, when you asked me if I enjoyed a challenge and I vigorously nodded my head and said yes, well, I lied.
I just had a update meeting with my boss and my little pile of work has now exploded into Death Star-esque proportions. I am moving my sleeping bag into the staff room as well as keeping a change of clothes in my drawer. its going to be a long month.
Oh, yeah. Also woke up with the office flu going around. Thanks girls!
Judging from the blogs I’ve read this morning, its Monday. Well, it must be, cos I’m in corporate wear and staring at a computer screen. But you can never be too sure. After a while all the days begin to bleed into eachother and you lose track of what day it is, because all you seem to do is either stare at a screen or a draught tap.
Spent my weekend working – as usual. came home from work to find Joyce in her usual spot, on the couch , watching TV. She points to my bedroom door. Joyce: There's a message for you, duck. Dunno who left it. Insano: *reads note* Erm, Joyce, this is yoru handwriting. Joyce: Is it? What does it say? Insano: Someone is coming to inspect the flat. Joyce: Oh yes. You know, I can't do what I used to. But I won't go into a home. Insano: *spots two third empty whiskey bottle nestled in crook of Joyce;s arm* Right. Ok. I'll be in my room. Good night. *spent rest of night in my room, quietly.* But also spent Saturday night getting drunk and lamenting about the state of the world, wrote some songs and bad poetry, then promptly passed out. Sunday was laundry day. The problem with sharing a living room with your 82yr old landlady, is that while you’re using all available space to dry your clothes, with the fan going full blast to counter the icy cold damp outside, she insists on sitting on the couch, in her spot watching American Idols. I suggest she watch TV in P’s room, where its warm and quiet. She scoffed at me!!!
Crazy old lady!
I really hope my payraise goes through...
Enough of me ranting…one day I’ll have an interesting, positive post. I promise.
Ok, here’s a sticky situation. I have work to do. Lots of it. But I just couldn’t be asked. Why? Cos I have bigger fish to fry, like looking for a new place to stay and working on my novel and writing songs. Thing is, I’m trying to look busy, but my screen faces the office and I hate it! Its way better if I’m in a corner working on my stuff without having to worry if my boss spots my handiwork over my shoulder. And yes, we can argue that I should work when I’m at work, but my productive curve doesn’t follow office hours. It follows Insano hours. Which are different to normal hours.
The girls in the office have become quite spoilt since I started helping out on the phone, knowing that if the phone rings more then twice I have to answer it (its an OCD thing) I hate a ringing phone! So they leave it to ring. URGH!
Right. On the positive, good side. My train wasn’t delayed today. This is always a bonus. Its like having moving traffic on the N12 west at 8am. The phones haven’t rung half as much today as they did last week. I can listen to my music, mostly undisturbed. I’m going to see three new flats tomorrow night. I’m not sick. I’m not hungover. My pants aren’t tight around my ass – yay!
Ok, enough positiveness. I’m going to Sainsbury’s after work, get some supper, some wine, get drunk, write some more songs and then pass out. Hopefully make it to the office in time for the morning meeting.
With the hours i work, i hardly spend time at the flat. I get in after 1am and i'm out again by 8am. Weekends, if i'm not working, i'm in my room quietly reading, working, sleeping or doing laundry. And despite this, I always end getting a compliant directed at me from P either directly from him or what he deciphered in Joyce's r2d2 clicking. And its enough to fuck me right off. Stupid things like - Insano, next time you leave you drying washing in your room, please open the window so that it doesn't go all funny smelling. Excuse me? My laundry was in MY living room (which is airy and had the fan going to circulate the air etc). I get home and P had moved the racks into my tiny stuffy bedroom cos Joyce wanted to watch TV. Note here - the laundry is in no way obstructing the tv. And then they complain about what happens when the laundry makes teh damp smell come out of the carpets???
I know, its a stupid reason, but its not the only one. A week rarely goes by without a call from P saying that Joyce is complaining about something or another. This is not something i wat to hear when my workload just cracked my fourth vertabrae. And nine out of ten times, the complaint is groundless, having taken seed in the whiskey addled logic of an 82 yr old pensioner.
P and i had a big row about him calling me at work (i'm too busy and he pisses me off everytime he calls), calling me from the pub when he's drunk and knows i turned down his original invitation, sms'ing me nearly every night to find out when i'll be home (in atrocious spelling and grammar) and then bitches at me for drinking his last two beers, when he in fact finished the bread and didn't replace it so i had no supper! ARGH!!!
My review is happening at the end of the month. I'm really hopin gi get the raise, cos then i'll look for a place of my own, on my own. I can't live with other people anymore! When i'm stressed and ovverworked and generally exhausted, I tend to get anti social, especially when i need to hang out with P. In fact, aside from my jobs, i want to not have to report to anyone else. I don't want to have to tell people when i'll be home, or when to expect me (cos I often don't know myself). I don't want to go do my laundry only to find that all my washing powder is finished - used on three items washed inumerable times. I don't want to have to be the happy smiley person all the time. Sometimes i want to mooch in fron tof the tv in my pjs with a face pack on eating Haagen Das, drinking beer and watching chick flicks. An dnot have to worry who is going to arrive or bitch about the fact that i'm using the tv the one night of the week i can!!!
Sorry, enough ranting. I'll post something positive tomorrow or monday. Right now, i need to race to get to the pub - day shift!
So my mate Dan and I were sitting last night at this Chinese take out place before the Water Rat gig and he was positively drooling about some software he got from a friend which will enable him to record music. He is, afterall, a musician. I got pretty excited about this for him.
Next thing I know, we’ve decided that I’ll be co-writing the songs and doing back up vocals. Ok. That’s cool. Only, my creative kick comes in after three beers, or a few shots of tequila. He turned to me, with all seriousness and said: Well, you better start drinking.
Uhh, as if I’ve ever stopped?
So who knows…maybe, one day, I’ll be collecting an award for best song.
In the meantime, things are going crazy over here! The office is under so much pressure. Our clients want to double their orders and we’re battling to keep up, so I think its time we hire more staff, get newer computers and move offices – closer to Camden, so I can walk to work.
Speaking of work – watch out world, podcasting is taking over!!!! I have spent the better part of an hour trying to describe to a woman why podcasting will benefit her company. She kept going on about how technically savvy her mother is, but she doesn’t have time because she has kids etc etc. Uhh, ok. Maybe its because I’m a geek, but as much as I hate associating with Apple and iTunes, podcasting and video content is the way to go. I think the day SA gets broadband (not via Hellkom) technology will grow in leaps and bounds over there as it has here.
So last night saw my mates Dan, Rob and myself head off to Water Rats in Kings Cross. I haven't been to a live gig in ages and couldn't believe how much I missed them!
Anyways, we watched two bands. The first was Seeing Scarlet A four piece band with great songs and tunes, they had us bopping along within the first number. As it turns out, frontman Charlie, is a former S'Affer hailing from Durban. Glad to see our musicians getting it together over here.
The second band was Ghosts With a selection of songs that varied in style and texture (yes, texture) they gave a stellar performance. I didn't get to meet them after the gig, but there's always next time.
Afterwards, went home, passed out and am now at work OD'ing on java and working out the conundrum that is Photoshop 7. Wish me luck!
I'm a big fan of music, as i've stated copious amounts of times before. But I'm a bigger fan of SA music, especially rock music.
One of my favourite bands is The Bang. I interviewed them nearly a year and a half ago for WickedRock.co.za. However, due to the website server going down in flames, everything was lost. The site is up and running, but the archives haven't been restored just yet and its still in the crawling stages of design.
Moving on...JoeBlog recently did a write up on them here
You can log on to their MySpace page here and listen to some of thier awesome tracks.
Their webpage is under construction.
If you like REM, The Pixies, Coldplay and other Indie rockers, then this is a band to check out at a gig near you! Also doesn't hurt that they're better turned out than most bands out there.
Onto other Insano related news: Lollipop won't be posting for a while as her work internet has gone down. Hellkom is apparently going to get it restored within the next two weeks. I'm not holding my breath.
I have finally realised why I prefer a creative job to an operations job – the phone. Over the course of the past two days, I have come to loath the sound of my phone ringing, knowing that when I answer it, some irate client will be on the other end demanding things I can’t even begin to fathom!
I want to unplug it, put on my headphones and get lost in my own work to the soundtrack of MCR and other angsty bands. I find I do my best work when left undisturbed and isolated in my own little universe. Now I have this damn phone interrupting every few minutes! May it burn in hell!
If people want to contact me, email is the best way to go! Why haven’t they cottoned onto this revolutionary idea? They say a phone that rings more than four times produces stress. The mere sight of my phone is enough to induce unwarranted levels of stress. And because we’re a team in an open plan office, I can’t even unplug it! Dammit!
I’ll be so glad when we get some more help in here.
So as most of you could have guessed, I spent my weekend working. Not only at the pub, but also at home. Got home pretty late on Saturday from my morning shift, so i crashed. Sunday saw me hopping down to Tescos, loading up on washing powder and spending the day doing my laundry. While I was waiting for the machine to finish, did a pretty thirough clean then sat and sorted my music. had albums with no titles or anything, so I found the various covers and filled it all in.
Yes, I rule!
Although, I found an album that had no cover, no titles or anything. The opening song had this voice saying it was Alfred Hitchcock and this was music to die to. Creeped me right out! Wonder where i got it from?
So with 2007 in full swing, I looked ahead to see what was releasing this year and i have to admit, i'm not exactly quivering with excitement. Apart from Norah Jones, Dido, Fuzigish and (don't you dare laugh) Fall Out Boy releasing fresh material, nothing else seems interesting. Oh yeah, Cooper Temple CLause and Bloc Party, but they haven't grown on me and i'm sceptical about the new kaiser chiefs too. Oh, wait! The Used are releasing a new album. I like this band, even though the frontman seems to have this one sided feud going with Gerard Way - he of MCR fame.
On my walkabout last night in Kensington, I found the EMI building as well as Warner Music. I may need to start camping on thier doorstep with my CV demanding a job there as a tour assistant. Cue my getting kicked out of the area faster than you can say 'But i didn't mean to salivate all over Robbie Williams shoes.'
As for life in London - This morning, as I was halfway down the road, i relaised i left my laptop at the flat, so i hightailed it back, grabbed the sodding thing and raced back to the station (as fast as my bitch boots could carry me). I then had to wait 10 minutes for my train, then a further 15minutes at Waterloo station. WE then get to Queenstown Road station when the train stopped and didn't go any further. I, of course, was catching up on my sleep and was awoken by the conductor sayign i need to listen to the announcements. FYI - there weren't any. I then caught the first train only to discover it was going to another part of town. hopped out at the next stop and had to wait a further 10 minutes for the next train to get to work. A five minute walk later and i was in the office. What a Monday morning! And its only 11am.
Nats has moved out, so things are slowly going back to normal, except that P is still living with me and still looking for a job. I hate to admit it, but he is screwed! Over here, he has the skills, but there aren't any jobs for refrigeration technicians and back home, he doesn't have a license, so he can't get any job! He also suffers from ADHD and verbal diahorria. Maybe I should move him out to Leyton. He may fit in there. All I know, is that i want my flat back the way it was. Just me and Crazy Joyce. No one using all my washing powder and finishing the milk, making me walk to the shops to buy some, even though i don't use any!
But despite my bitching and ranting, I'm having a pretty good time over here.
I don't know what is up with the blogger today, but i had a lovely rant written and then it lost it!
My rant was about Apple head honcho Steve Jobs unveiling this
Below is the email conversation i had with my boss:
From: Insano Sent: 11 January 2007 16:12 To: Salivating Boss Subject: RE: come and pick up my comments on copy and....
Did you notice the message at the bottom of the webpage - This device has not been authorized as required by the rules of the Federal Communications Commission. This device is not, and may not be, offered for sale or lease, or sold or leased, until authorization is obtained. They say it’ll be available at the end of 2007 in Europe/UK. Checked out the tech specs – only 4G-8G? For music/pics/email memory – not enough. They need to enlarge their memory before it’ll really take off. Many won’t want to part with their 80G iPods. I’m going to hold out for the next Sony Ericsson generation. Other than that, it’s a very slick presentation. Looks like it’ll take off. Good luck to them.
From: Salivating Boss Sent: 11 January 2007 16:45 To: Insano Subject: RE: come and pick up my comments on copy and....
You really are an anti-Apple cynic! 8Gb is enough for my top 20% of favourite music, I’d have it as well as my 80Gb ipod but instead of my phone – wouldn’t you?
From: Insano Sent: 11 January 2007 17:00 To: Salivating Boss Subject: RE: come and pick up my comments on copy and....
Apple is a minion if The Man. (that’s the liberal hippie in me). I’ve done some more reading on the subject and boy, are the boys at Apple going to get flack! What is the best thing about having an mp3 player in your phone? The fact that you can set your favourite song as your ringtone and message tone. The iPhone, due to iTunes licensing, cannot do that. And while you can buy tracks for a few pence, to buy the ringtone will cost $25. It also doesn’t support third party software, so I foresee a problem with those who want to load Skype and Adobe reader onto their phone. It’s also been network locked to one network in the states until 2009. This network doesn’t cover half of America. And in Europe? Think Virgin will grab it up? Or Vodafone?
The camera may be 2 Mega pixels, but does it have a zoom or flash function?
Come on. Who are they trying to market this to? The professional who needs internet capabilities and an easy to use phone who wants to look cool? Or to the next generation who want the multimedia functions? I know for a fact that my little sister, her friends and even I choose our phones based on their multimedia capabilities. We want to be able to record concerts clearly, have at least 10G of music to choose from and set the songs as our tones.
And I’m going to bet that within the first six months, at least a third of the phones purchased will be returned due to touch pad issues.
I've come to the decision that if the world should end due to a nuclear fall out [caused by some UN official actually FINDING weapons of mass destruction and getting so excited at the idea jumps up and down, landing against the detonator and feeling very stupid for about five seconds], the next ice age due to global warming, or halle's comet finally deciding to visit instead of pass by, i just wouldn't care. I would actually embrace the ending of the world right about now.
Why?
Well, in the space of 24 hours, I messed up a very important ad, forgot to scan and email some very important things to a VIP, nearly knocked my boss unconcious at the pub with a badly aimed elbow, and i made joyce cry. I am a bad person. very bad.
Let me explain. My boss comes to me on Tuesday saying he wants to place an ad in a very important magazine for a position opening here. I had to do the copy and layout. Only problem is, my little ol' laptop isn't big enough to handle design programs, so i handed it over to the designer with the specs. I think she did a great job. Before I raced off to my second job, I told her to first show it to the boss, then email it off. So I then get to work at the pub and during the night, somehow, nearly end up giving my cute boss a blue eye with my elbow! yes, my elbows can be dangerous, but thats what happens when you step up behind someone when they're trying to open a bottle of wine! I then go home, totally buggered seeing as how this is my second very late night in a row after a hectic day. I sneak into the flat, and slink into my room to get ready for bed. Suddenly I get an sms from Nats, whose sleeping shape i passed in my living room. She's asking me to turn off my music. Music? I'm not playing music! So i ignore it and carry on. Then she calls me - Insano, please turn off your music. Nats, I reply, I'm not playing any music. Then where is it coming from? she slurs sleepily. Remember, this is about 1:30am. I step out through the living roomand into the passage. The music is coming from Joyce's room. She puts the radio on and forgets how to turn it down. So i knocked softly and there she was, sitting on her bed - drunk as a skunk! Joyce, could you turn the music down a little? I ask over the blaring of Lennon. What duck? she asks, clearly confused. Joyce, it's 1:30 in the morning. Nats and I need to get some sleep, we have to work tomorrow. I leaned over and tried to turn the volume down. i turned it too far and it turned off. Oh fuck. Granted, this radio is from like, the first world war, so its not user friendly. Sorry Joyce. i cringe. i'll turn it back on. Insano fiddles with dials, hopelessly stuffing up the radio further. Joyce continues to sit on her bed. That was our song. My boys. she starts to mumble, then bumble then the tears come. Could the world please swallow me now. I hate it when old people cry. They make me feel very crummy. I bade a hasty retreat to my bedroom and crawled under the covers. Ten minutes later, my living room door is pushed open, noisily. I hear Joyce and Nats through the thin wall. Nats: yes joyce? whats the matter? Joyce: Oh. I just wanted to see where you were. Nats: I'm right here. Joyce: you ok? you want a hot drink? Nats: No, thanks Joyce. I just want to sleep. Joyce: you don't want anything? Nats: just some sleep. thanks Joyce.
joyce leaves, talking to herself in funny clicks (sounding like R2D2 without the sarcasm)
Nats moves into her own place on Friday. Thank goodness! Paul is still jobless, so his move has been rescheduled until further notice.
Fast forward to this morning, the first thing i get is a phone call from my boss saying he wants the copy changed. So i forward the changes onto the designer. He then tells me that the designer was there until late doign the ad and that the two of us need to figure out a way of working together. Basically making me feel guilty for having a second job. I would like to point out that if it wasn't for this second job, I wouldn't be able to afford getting my first job! And its only twice a week anyway. So, yeah, i'm having a bad day.
However, trust MTV to give me something to laugh about. Pete Wentz - he of Fall Out Boy fame - got into a fight with security at his own concert! The story is here and the clip is below:
This is going to be a bit of a sad post. Mike, my liberal hippy friend and music mentor, sent me a harrowing article about mental illness affecting the soldiers in Iraq. One soldier, along with some buddies, broke into a house, killing a family then raping the fifteen year old daughter before setting her alight. Apparently these soldiers aren’t mentally fit for society, yet they’re not fit for army duty either. So what is the state doing about them? Court marshals and prison.
And I thought my stress levels were unhealthy.
Today, my boss is spoiling us by bringing in a masseuse to give us each a twenty minute massage. Thing is, I’m not very big on getting a massage from someone I don’t know. The only people who have tried to give me a back rub are my ex’s and one or two friends. I have yet to actually have a decent massage, and if this person is any good, she’ll have me comatose within ten minutes. Not something I need today as the deadlines are looming and I’m not firing on all pistons! What I need, is a bigger, newer computer with design programs on so that I can get my job done properly.
So Peas was bitching earlier today about Dove moving to the UK. Having moved there and currently living in the UK, I have a few points to make about it. Firstly, once you’ve lived in London, with five housemates and crappy weather, Jozi looks like heaven. Even the crime doesn’t bother you. It’s a good trade off really. Secondly, I think it’s the perfect place to grow up and become self sufficient. Your folks are on the otherside of the world and if you mess up, you got to sort it out. Thirdly, South Africans are unavoidable in London, but it doesn’t mean you have to live with them. Move out of Southfields and Wimbledon and avoid Leyton at all costs. Forthly, you need to move here for the right reasons. I moved out here because I had the travel bug and London is a good base to explore the rest of Europe and its pretty cheap. I’ve also been given a great career opportunity in both marketing/events AND in music!
But don’t think I’m going to live here! I’ll settle in SA, raise my kids there, but for now, I’m soaking up the Euro vibe.
Speaking of…last night I get a call from P. P: have you seen the sausages anywhere? Insano: Sausages? Dude, I’m just outside. I’ll see you now. I go inside the flat and discover absolute chaos. Joyce is in a tiz and seems to be looking for something. Eventually it comes out that Joyce had some pork sausages in the deep freeze and wanted to make them for supper. However, she can’t find them anywhere. She asks me if I ate them. Insano: No joyce. Firstly I don’t eat pork and secondly, I haven’t been home to make food and thirdly, I would have asked you first. Then P tells me that he bought the sausages and they are in fact his, but he hasn’t eaten them as he can’t find them.
So between P and Joyce, there is a debate as to who the sausages belonged to and who ate them. Nats thinks the social worker stole them when she came to check up on Joyce.
I shook my head, rolled up my sleeves and tackled the overflowing pile of dishes. Oh how I long for the days of old when it was just me and joyce, in our flat, no issues regarding missing pork products and my laundry left on the drying rack until I’m ready to pack it away!
Taking my cue from The Sound of Music, I've decided to make sure I see something I like everyday. Its just been far too much doom and gloom around here for the past few weeks. So this morning i realised that dawn is my favourite time of day. Granted, the fact that i'm usually getting my best sleep between the hours of 4 and 6am means that i don't see many dawns, but i guess thats what makes me like it even more. The colours of the sky, the peace and quiet, the calm. I like walking through the streets at that time of day, whether its coming home from a gig or on my way to work.
Another reason my mood is so good is that yesterday, my boss and i had a meeting about this newsletter thing that i'm supposed to do for our clients. During this meeting, I asked him what he thought of my new logo design ideas and he said he loved them! And he said his PA is really impressed with me. Now, believe it or not, this is no easy feat. Impressing the PA is like winning a reputable talent show (and i'm not talking about Idols). So during the meeting he asked me about my April trip home. I explained its for visa purposes and from May, I need to be registered as a freelancer so that i can continue working legally. He pished at the idea and said he'll sponsor my visa. Having done it before for two other employees, he is more than happy to do so. So a lot of strain has been taken off my back. Now there's just the whole requirements issue, and the skiing trip in Feb, which he wants to open to clients too. Great! Now I'm definately not skiing. I'll just stay at the chalet and build snowmen. Besides, i don't own any skiing clothes and last I checked, denims weren't part of the outfit.
I posted some new music vids below!! Check them out! Ok, so they're not brand new, but they're ones i like. The Smashing Pumpkins one I dig purely because of its lyrics. Which is another favourite thing of mine.
Carrying on from what Peas posted this morning about her and Ant's Horoscope for the year, let me share with you what an internet source says about Virgo for 2007.
1) Uranus in Pisces is to blame for any shit that has happened since 2003. However, seeing as how it plans to stay in the neighbourhood until 2010, you're pretty much screwed for the next three years.
2) Your need for freedom intensifies this year -- at times creating anticipation and eagerness -- but you may be confused by the wide range of choices. With Jupiter, the planet of expansion and reward, in your 4th House of Home and Family this year, you might not want to leave the house. Still, your desire for grand adventure is stimulated by a long-lasting dynamic square between optimistic Jupiter and erratic Uranus. Don’t try to restrain your need for independence much, or you might find yourself vicariously living out your life through the actions of unconventional people. Your attraction to unorthodox and even irresponsible friends or lovers can, in turn, vitalize your spirit at the expense of reducing your serenity. Ja, ok. So I'll like being single the rest of the year. Right? or does it mean I shouldn't get arrested?
3) Apparently there are four eclipses this year that will completely screw with you. For example: On 3 March, the lunar eclipse will make you very short tempered, so stay in bed with a pint of Haagen Das instead. On March 18, a solar eclipse will turn you into a green eyed monster. So stay in bed. On August 28, a lunar eclipse will send a debt collector over. Make sure you're all paid up or you may lose your knee caps. On September 11, the solar eclipse will cause you to have a near death experience, making you realise that life is short and you need to get yoru ass in gear or it may pass you by.
On the romantic front, looks like you'll still be a singleton until December, but 2008 looks promising!
In short, 2007 looks like one long duvet day! Bring it on.
PS - Lollipop, email me! I don't have your new work addy.
I overslept this morning, causing me to get to work at 9:30am. Being South African, the working hours are still very bizarre. By the time I get down to working, it feels like I’ve lost half my day. Call me crazy, but I prefer starting work at 8:00am and going to 5:00pm. It gives you that extra hour in the evenings to get home or go to the pub and it doesn’t feel as late as it does when you work til after 6:00pm. Then again, since the sun sets at 3:30pm already, it feels late by 2:00pm. Or maybe that’s just the sleep deprivation talking.
Anyway, while on the train this morning, I had a thought. Are people these days more concerned with their purpose/role in life than previous generations? If so, is it because we have more options than ever? Think about it. A few hundred yeas ago, your destiny was set. You’d marry young. Either be rich or poor, not travel very far or anywhere other thanthe village square and spend your life raising children and crops. Now, we have so many options. Shall we work or study? Where should we do the above choice? Should we travel first? What career suits me? The list goes on and on. It doesn’t help when you end up having a pointless job that doesn’t really contribute to the overall well being of the population. Like people who work for the tax man. I’m sure they end up hating themselves at the end of the day when they have to write letters to themselves reminding them that they owe their employers money. And what about marketing people? (myself included). Whose life did we affect in a good way today with our irritating marketing emails and advertisements? Did we push a girl over the edge into an eating disorder with the latest Dior advert? Did we cause that five car pile up on the freeway because of the Victoria Secret billboard we put up next to it, distracting (naturally) male drivers? Did people really buy the lies we sell to them?
I watched The Day After Tomorrow the other day, and was struck by the same realisation as the Emmy Rossum character. In a natural disaster, I’d probably be the first person to die or be eaten or something. I don’t have natural disaster skills. Hell, I can’t even think of hunting an animal, nevermind the skinning and preparing etc. So I’ll have to survive on plants, but I can’t tell the difference between poison ivy and normal ivy. My Brownie leader must be hanging her head in shame as I write this. I’m sure a natural disaster would be a great way to clear the world of unwanted elements and people, but I’d like to think that I’ll be likely to survive and have a skill to offer.
Maybe I should join the girl guides instead of an amateur theatre society. I can hardly see how knowing the full score to South Pacific will be beneficial when you’re hunting for food. Essentially it boils down to this question – What kind of survivor are you? The ‘I’m barely surviving’ or the ‘I’m thriving’.
If any accountants say they’d be thriving, they’re lying.
Oh! And I’m going to tag everyone who come to visit to list their island soundtrack in the comments. I’m curious as to whose iPod I’d have to smash, I mean, borrow should we be stranded together.
just a quickie for now...my mates, the Death Valley Blues Band, based up in Jozi have got a video on youtube. I can't embed it (thanks stonewizzard) but here is the link....I wanna watch the video
I think I've finally figured out why many adults I see everyday look sullen. Being an adult doesn't mean just having to deal with things like deadlines, psycho bosses, tube congestion, children, debt etc. It also means having to think about mundane things like 'Do i have washing powder?' or 'how many rolls of toilet paper is left?'.
Excuse me for being naive, but if being an adult means that you're constantly worrying about something as mundane as washing powder, then can I please go back to high school. At least there my only worry was if I would get past the bouncers at The Doors that Saturday night.
I hate having to worry about stupid things like that when I have bigger fish to fry. like worrying about where i'm going to get money for my April trip home and if i'll be able to save enough to go to varsity from next year.
I got asked the other day why i'm always busy planning things. Why don't I just chill. Why am I so impatient for things to happen? Well, maybe this is a stretch for you to understand or believe, but humour me...
I have this gut feeling that for some strange, unknown reason, I'm not going to see thirty. I know, you're probably rolling your eyes, thinking - nutcase, paranoid, delusional, irrational, overreacting, drama queen. And my logical side completely agrees.
But what if on a small chance, I might be right? Then what? I'm not taking that chance, hence my deadlines and hectic schedule. And hey! If I see thiry-one, then I might just slow down a little.
Onto more positive thinking:
Its a Saturday night and the only thing i'm getting intimate with, is my washing machine. See, I tried to teach P how to do laundry, seeing as how it needs to get done often, due to lack of clothing. Thing is, his lesson was held as i was running out the door to work.
Insano: P, make sure you put the hosiery in the mesh bag. (P give blank look) Insano: Stockings, P. (light of recognision in P's face) Insano: Right, seperate clothes, pour powder in the compartment on the right and the fabric softner in the other compartment, press no 3 then once its done, hang it up. ok? (looks at watch as am really late) P: yeah ok. (head towards front door) P:how do I seperate the laundry? Insano: Black and everything else!
Well, P did the laundry and remembered to hang it all up, but it was a third of the pile i had building up, so tonight i'm doing it all. The Heinekens are helping the progress, as well as chilled tunes and the pint of Haagen Das I have waiting for afterwards.
I think at the end of the month, Nats and I need to go party. Dancing at Koko!! Its the nest best thing, seeing as how i can't find a ticket for any of the Fratellis gigs.
Ok, i've bored you enough with my mundane existance. I'm going to get back to hanging up my laundry now.
In the papers in the past few days, there have been reports of children killing themselves while re-enacting the hanging of Saddam Hussein. This made me wonder (as one does while sitting on the tube for twenty minutes staring at your feet)about a few things. Firstly, why did the authorities choose to show the hanging on television? Secondly, why would children want to re-enact the death of a dictator?
Let's look at the first point, shall we? Executions around the world, and more specifically seem to capture the public's imagination. Barely two hundred years ago, one couldn't walk through a city without literally bumping into a hanging body in the streets. But, maybe i'm being naive on this point, haven't the human rights societies of the world decreed that executions of any kind be done in private with only people close to the case bare witness to the hanging/electric chair/beheading etc? What is it about an execution that fascinates people? Have we as a society reverted back to the days of old when a good hanging in a public square was high entertainment? As if reality TV isn't bad enough, they air what should have been a news clip, as a full length prime time feature. I believe that the executives who made the decision to show the footage, made a very bad choice. If ratings were so bad that it demanded an execution, then I say - Bring Back DALLAS!
On my second question: Children re enacting the hanging of Saddam Hussein. I wonder, in the past, were there a string of cyanide related deaths amongst children re-enacting Hitler's death? Or a case of beheadings amongst children trying to re enact the headless state of one of King Henry's wives? I doubt it. It's puzzling, scary and rather revealing of society today.
I guess adults forget that children are the greatest imitators. Ask the girls in rehab for eating disorders after trying to imitate Posh's latest minute size, or re enacting Lindsay Lohan's skeletal phase. Or the youngsters recovering from trying to imitate Cobains heroin addiction, or Moss' cocaine habit. She bounced back to becoming one of the highest paid models today. Cobain wasn't so lucky, and niether are a lot of thier imitators.
The point, and i promise i have one, is that children are sponges, absorbing everything they see and without anyone there to tell them the difference between the good the bad and the ugly, i believe we'll see a lot more re enactment related deaths amongst kids. So Mr TV Exec, i highly recommend you review your show line up. Cut out ALL reality TV save for the News and Discovery Channel, and replace the unwatchable with fun, escapism. after all, isn't that what we originally bought our tvs for?
I can't believe its only the 4th of January and I've already posted so many negative entries. Shame on me. I need to adopt a positive attitude for this year. Tis the year of good things.
However, I just need to add, for those of you following the who flatmate saga with rapt attention. Yesterday I get home from work, only to find that my flatmate has moved all his things out of the rooms we were sharing, into my landlady's living room. Let me try to explain: The flat is divided in half by a passage, that leads directly to the front door. The two rooms on the left were occupied by my 81 year old landlady. it was her bedroom and living room. on the right, was the bathroom, kitchen adn the two rooms I rent from her. A living room and bedroom. My flatmate has now moved into her livign room, putting her tv in my living room. Guess what this means?
I woke up this morning to find my landlady sitting on the couch, staring at an off television set. I nearly kakked myself! It is not the first thing one wants to see two minutes ofter crawling out of bed. Now i've lost my living room! Not that I used it much, but still, the principle of the story is, he is supposed to move out, not move around!
That's my bitch for the morning. Onto positive things: I still have both my jobs. I may go shopping at lunchtime for some winter clothes (Oasis is having a wicked sale) I'm not sick. (two of the girls here in the office have a cold and are spluttering everywhere) There's a pot of coffee with my name on it. I'm going to find Fratelli tickets and buy them. (totally digging the Fratellis) I'm listening to good music. Had a nap on the train - very useful.
Right, all three of you who raised your hands, imagine a Jim Reeves soundtrack to your dream, only when you wake up, you realise that Jim Reeves was NOT talking to you by celestial means. It was your 81 year old landlady who hasn't quite realised that New Years Eve was over two days ago.
That's right. I woke up to Jim Reeves blaring from her living room. I went in to turn it down and found her sitting upright on her couch dead - wait, sorry - sleeping. After a little shaking, she woke up and wished me a happy new year.
Insano: Happy New year to you too Joyce. Shouldn't you get to bed? Joyce: Oh no, duck! I don't want to miss the new year. Insano: Erm, Joyce? New Years was two days ago. It's Wednesday, the 3rd of January. Joyce: you're a good girl. Insano: Thanks. I'm going to go shower now.
Don't take this as selfish, but i am sick and tired of having to look after people. I'm looking after P and Joyce. They're not my responsibility! Joyce's kids want to move her into an old age home. Rent be damned, cos I agree with them. This bird needs 24hr care. She's losing it!
So my hunt for a flat has begun. I've decided to look for a one bedroom place. No more flatmates! No more people trooping in and out at odd hours. 2007 will be my year of living alone. 22 years of sharing a house has come to an end!
Call me selfish, inconsiderate, and other such names. But at least I'll be able to get a decent nights sleep. hell, maybe i'll even get myself a cat. or three.
I also gave P his notice to move out to his own place. He's not very happy with me, but its either that or someone will have to bail me out on murder in the first.
Onto more pleasant news:
Train fares are going up by 33%. The temperature keeps falling. I can't get tickets to the Barenaked Ladies gig in Feb (they're not yet available) And, someone drank the last of my hot chocolate.
I'm going to find a corner and stew fo rthe rest of the day. Preferably to The Used.
I know I've bitched about my flatmate before, but this is getting ridiculous. Firstly, as stated before, I am spoilt and I like having my own space. I thought I'd be nice and help a friend in need for a while. It's been two months now!!! and he HAS TO GO! Take last night for example. I get home at about 8pm, throw together supper for the two of us and by 10:00pm am so tired, can barely keep my eyes open, so I crawl into the next room to go sleep. Barely an hour later, Nats comes over. I hear her, cos I'm still mostly concious due to the loud TV, which I asked to have turned down, but somehow the volume always finds its way back to loud! P and Nats then proceed to sit and chat, loudly for the rest of the night, Nats at one stage shouting at P for forgetting her directions to get to the London Zoo.
Now I'm rather pissed, irritated, and tired, so i stumble out of bed, drag open the doors, and rasp: Happy New Year, now please shut up. I have work in a few hours. And not just my day job, but a shift at the pub too!
This has got to end. If anyone wants a flatmate or knows of somewhere cheap for P to rent, please let me know. I need him out!
Onto other news, my mate Mike posted these questions on his blog and challenges us to answer them. I pose the same challenge to you! Copy and paste the questions onto your blog and tag the next person.
1. What's the biggest lesson Life has taught you? Don’t rely on anyone but yourself. And Karma does exist. My mom is a living example of that.
2. The one physical thing you want most in life right now? A pet. Preferably a cat. No, most definitely a cat.
3. How times have your fallen in love? Twice. Which, in my books, exceeds my quota for life! Takes up far too much energy.
4. If everyone you know were to die at the same time but you knew that you could save one, who would it be? Not fair! Does it have to be only one? Isn’t there a loophole? Does my cat count? Ok, fine, I have someone in mind, but they’ll remain nameless.
5. How many people have you slept with? my mother might read this!
6. What single aspect of yourself would you lessen? Other than my physical dimensions? The constant noise in my head.
7. Choose one person that you wish publicly humiliated? I would mention a politician, but I wish all politicians public humiliation.
8. One person you'd spend the last day of your life with (only one!)? only one? On the last day of my life, I want to be surrounded with everyone I love! (not unlike Kevin Kline in De-Lovely)
9. What one direction did your life take that you wouldn't have chosen with hindsight? Not going to university straight after school. Choosing to work instead.
10. Realistically, what would you do if you discovered today that you had 1 month to live? I would visit as many places as I could in a month, leaving my mark somewhere at each spot. I would also throw the ultimate party with everyone I know there and spend the hours inbetween listening to as much music as I can. I’d also confess my deepest secrets to the appropriate people. And set up my last will and testament. And not work!!!!
This little Insano had to work on New Years Eve. Got home at 5:30am after taking the night bus - serious lack of cabs around - had to walk home from Camden station in the rain through a freak two minute hail storm until i reached my nice warm comfy bed. I woke up this afternoon (2pm) to see blue skies and sunshine!!! Welcome back boys, i've missed you!
So i'm chilling at the bar last night watching the crowds arrive. Mostly the hip young and gay turned up. It was a club night called Rebel, Rebel. Felt like I was back at Ramp Divas with all my friends! Anyways, so I turn to Louis (my pint sized female boss).
Insano: Are you celebrity spotting? Louis: Nah. Insano: Oh, ok. but, if you see a celeb, let me knnow. I wouldn't recognise one if they hit me across the face.
Louis chuckled and we carried on preppig and pouring drinks. Man, do the gay men of London love thier Vodka!
So midnight comes and goes and I'm back behind the bar upstairs (we forced everyone to go downstairs for the countdown). Its all quiet when suddenly this guy walks up to me and says:
Guy: Happy New year. have you had a good one? Insano: Apart from the working, yeah. Its been good. Guy: cool. Are you serving drinks? Insano: Not jut yet. in about five minutes. Giy: coud I order a round for then. Insano: sure. Guy: Thanks and because its new year, get yourself one too....proceeds to order. He then runs to the bathroom.
I'm pouring the drinks when suddenly it hits me! I'm pouring drinks for Will Young!!!
Well, he was just the nicest person! Also introduced me to his new boyfriend and bought me about five drinks!! Stylishly dressed ina white button up shirt with rainbow trimming.
Also got told by various gay men that I'm fabulous! They loved my specs! and, erm, I rock!
Which I did of course, behind the bar, to The White Stripes, Queens of the stone age, etc etc. I've perfect the ability to pour a pint while headbanging! I so totally rock!
So today, after i've posted this, I'm going out to find some healthy food - i'm up to my eyeballs in junk food from xmas - and then chill. tomorrow is, after all back to the office!
27 year old sleepless workaholic with a penchance for music and a guy with a guitar. Also have a bad habit of landing oneself in numerous fuck ups. In short, my mother is going to kill me...
